he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize