shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
