Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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