I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
