i just wanna soil my oats bro
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
