those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Randomize