What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
