Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
