Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
