so that wasnt chicken after all
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
