It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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