New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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