I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
