I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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