my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
