I can text with my tongue
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
