ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize