we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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