i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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