My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
