ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
