Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
