but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
