just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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