We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
