have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
