what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
