im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
