I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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