I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
