i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
