I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize