Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Randomize
