they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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