i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my phone needs a breathalizer
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize