In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
