Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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