Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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