yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Randomize
