And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
