Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
