So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Randomize
