The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize