dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize