Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
