Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
