you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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