I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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