hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
