somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think people are normalizing furries
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
