So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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