I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
