oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
