come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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