so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
