Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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