How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
