Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize