everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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