I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize