The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
