Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
